6 whole peanuts :)

Today, Calista increased to 6 whole peanuts (or 10 peanut M&Ms). This has become such a normal part of our lives...each morning and each evening - I hand her the required number of M&Ms - she eats them and we move along. But when I stop to think about it....this is amazing & miraculous.

We are preparing for another school year and I will teach the teacher how to use an Epi, but I won't have to stress about every tiny peanut residue. Cal is safer - safer than she has ever been. Safe enough to be allowed out of my watch a little more. Safe enough to go away for a week with family. Safe enough to go on playdates. Not that anyone would have messed up or neglected to pay attention, but I couldn't relax. I was the self-appointed Peanut Police and I didn't trust anyone to be as vigilant with Cal. My mind was constantly filled with concerns about peanuts, labels, ingredients, special cupcakes, life-saving medication, etc. And nobody "got it" --- but that isn't quite true. It was just the result of receiving a diagnosis for our infant that warns of a life-threatening allergy to food, a diagnosis that you are told will never go away, never be cured and can only be managed with complete avoidance of the allergen.

It's an awful reality (one that I would not wish on anyone) BUT once we adjusted to it, I realized that it isn't that awful & I'd still choose this versus so many other "things" out there. I also realized that the "bubble" that I wanted to purchase for her was just too expensive :) and wouldn't be fair to either of us. So, we learned to plan ahead, pack safe snacks, always have EpiPens, etc. But now, she won't be crazy...she won't have to be the Peanut Police like I was. She can have an amazing life without the fear and that is worth more than I can say.

I met a girl today who traveled six hours to be treated by our allergists. She was diagnosed nearly 18 years ago. I felt blessed that we have only lived this life for 6 years, that we are only two hours away from treatment, etc. I wish her the absolute best in her treatment and hope she experiences the same life-changing positives that we have!